Wednesday, January 28, 2009

January 28th: [[Incarceration vs. First day of School]]

I cryed my eyes out today.
My 6 year old nephew started his first day of school today.
It was perfect.
When i dropped him off, he had a smile on his face that didn't leave.
When i met him at the bus stop to pick him up after school.
He ran to my arms.
The smile still placed in the same spot it was when i left.
He told me about the "amazing" day he had....
about his new friends...and cool things.
But as great of a day as we had both had.
I burst into tears.
Uncontrollable tears.

I couldn't help myself.
Some how through the whole excitement.
I forgot && faild to realize that i wasn't his mother.
It hurt my heart so much.
That my sister.
Wasn't able to see her first born off the school his very first day.
I still feel the pain in my heart.
I can't image what that feels like or what she's going through.
Not that, being in jail for about 2 weeks already and 3 more months to go, wasn't hard enough.
She missed this beautiful day.

In my remorse i sat my niece && nephew down and told them to write their mother a letter about their day. As i did the same, telling her about how great a day her son had.
Still tears in the bottom of my red eyes.

It hurts.

Ironically as im licking the envelope getting ready to mail it
My sister calls.
Conversation started cool.
She's talking to the kids.
Then the phone comes to me.
I tell her "hey i was just writing you, and i made the kids write about their day to"
"Hey Britney, i miss you. i wrote you the other day you should be getting it in the mail"
somehow. i have absolutely no clue how.
We both break down.
On the phone, crackling words out our mouths, trying to hold our composure together.
I couldn't hold it anymore.
She's like my older "twin"
I feel her pain.
She's somewhat my favorite.
she's taking care of me since i came out the womb (along with my other older 3 sisters).
it hurt even more as i said goodbye.

I pray things get better soon.
I love you Nichole
Stay Strong.
Your baby sister (2nd daughter)
britneylaverne


5 comments:

  1. aww :(

    you have to be strong for your sister and trust that everything is going to be ok !

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  2. This made me sad, I'm sorry to hear about your sister :( Your niece and nephew are very lucky they have you though ;) I hope you sis gets out soon/safety. I wish your fam the best, just keep your head up (easier said than done I know) and keep pushing on and everything (hopefully) will get better

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  3. thnks. i have to stay strong. cuz i hate seeing my niece && nephews cry. i appreciate the comments. Keep my fam in prayer. much much love.

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  4. wow this touched my heart. I too wish you fam well and hope your sister stays strong and safe. I've never shared this on blogger but my mom was in and out of jail the past year and its tough but whatever the reason is that ya sis is in there be it her fault or not I pray things get better

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