Tuesday, December 30, 2008

HIS HEART: [help me with my poem plz]

so i kinda had this daydream. about a movie i made up in my head. [no im not crazy] but i what to be like a storywriter and write movies n sht like that so neway. in my lil movie. this girl is n bed with her man. But as he's sleeping, she's up laying on his chest and can't sleep. so as i have that vision in my mind i come up with this lil poem. the poem is basically suppose to be about a relationship. && the guy knows that she's been cheating and doing him dirty. And she knows that he knows all about it. Her guilty conscious is having a conversation with his heart. But when his heart finally speaks to her she has to face reality and know that he doesn't love her anymore. but she's getting what she thinks she deserves tenfold because it's hurting her more because she can't forgive herself and would rather break-up than face that reality that she's lost him. It seems like a damn soap-opera n dramatic crazy sht. but i really dont know whether to be proud of it and leave it like it is. or whether it's missing something n nobody knows what the fuck im talking about&& i need to revise it or sumem [so somebody gets it other than me].


enough talk tho...constructive n honest criticism please...

But ne who here it is:

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You really make me sick.
You made me fall in love with him and suddenly you leave.
I may have messed around on him.
But i can't believe the way you treat me.

you've turned so cold.

But as i lay next to him listening to you beat out of his chest.
I think to myself.
Why won't you talk to me. Tell me how you feel.
You're suppose to be a part of him. You're suppose to keep it real.
I want you to talk to me.
Or to him at least.
Just sitting there bleeding n torn tryna front like a beast.
I've created a monster.
Heartless bastard towards me.
"That's it he's heartless" ,
Finally you speak.
I know i did you dirty and so fucking wrong.
But I'm sry why do you torture me && still play along.
Why do you still fuck with me, Why not just move on.
I guess it's pointless,
I'm talking to a heart that's gone.
His mouth say's i love you, words he really doesn't mean.
But his heart says "bitch fuck you && leave us be"
His kisses of forgiveness oh so sincere.
I lay next to him crying, now that i know his heart isn't there.

1 comment: